Is this weird?
I know this sounds a bit narcissistic, but who cares.
Beneath all our humility and struggle to appear as selfless as possible. Deep down, down, beneath all that mass of niceness, cuteness and selflessness, there’s a selfish, narcissistic piece of shit, crap guy there. And sometimes, it shows, and you can’t help it.
Back to me.
I look at you and all I see is an angel, a queen. I see an extraordinary being who is divine and has the perfect body and skin. I see flawlessness and beauty. Then, my confidence is boosted.
“Let me take a selfie”, I say to myself. Let me capture this perfection. Am fine shaa, I think to myself again. It’s just insufficient funds that won’t let me progress.
So I picked up my smart phone, open up my camera and switch to selfie mode. I said I was a queen earlier but no one told me that we had terribly unattractive queens too. I just never knew. I thought all queens were perfect, flawless, with the kind of beauty that keeps you breathless and wonder if they were mermaids. You know, supernatural.
Well, it turns out that my one true love, my one true bestfriend and mate just made me see what I was not. I think it did that to make me feel good about myself. It doesn’t matter if she lied to me. Doesn’t stop me from living and trusting her.
And so I bring my phone at a perfect selfie angle to get the perfect picture, while I turn at an angle of 45° against my mirror, still stealing glances at my reflection there and all that comes to my head is “fine geh, show them”.
But then, the moment I stare into the camera, brethren, brothers and sisters, friends and enemies, I couldn’t believe what I saw. For a second, I thought it wasn’t real. My face looked swollen, my under eye had bags like the kind of bags Nigerians carry into an airplane and call it hand luggage. My brows were terrible, the left brow with an arc and the right one so straight, one would have thought I used a ruler. My lipstick made my lips so large I looked like I pumped them. My eye lids were black, my forehead was shining bright like a diamond ( in Rihanna’s voice), it could be used as a headlamp in the dark, overall my face looked like a recently baked cake. So caked.
My friends, I almost shed a tear. This was the me and make-up I thought was “slay” as girls say.
So, I decided to try again. Maybe it was the lightning, or the phone was too close to my face. No, something had to be wrong. I changed my position from the lightening, changed again, again, till I had taken a 360° turn without even knowing. I switched the phone from my left to my right hand. Even worse, my cheeks looked like I had pears stuffed in them. In that split of seconds, I gave up. With an “I no too do again” attitude, I angrily threw my phone to the bed.
Now back to my own reality, I looked in the mirror and this time I saw Joan Smalls in me, even Naomi Campbell had nothing on me.
My mirror, my everything. All I want to see, I see through you. Maybe it’s all in my head, but I don’t care. All I know is that my mirror is very loyal and nice to me. It has never disappointed me or shown me anything less than I wanted to see. Technology might fail me, but my reflection never will.
Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe it’s all a thought, but it works for me. So every single damn time I look in the mirror I see a different star, I have seen so many stars that I’ve turned into a galaxy. Anytime I want to feel like nothing is working in my life, and I’m just going through “mini-life-crisis”. Because, apparently it can’t be mid-life crisis yet. I look at you and you give me all the hope. I look at you and my life lights up. You can do this. You are it. You are a star. You are a freaking galaxy. You are a freaking dynamite. You are Tungsten. You are everything strong and perfect. You are all that want to be.
She always tells me the right words. Always says the right things. And that is all that matters.
Therefore, I think I have fallen in love with her, for she gave me hope.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, I think I’m in love with you.
Love xx ❤❤