Don’t let anybody steal your magic!
I’m experiencing a feeling of not being enough that my own procrastination irritates me and makes me occasionally doubt and beat up myself about my current state and where I thought I’d be by now. This state has become one too familiar that it creeps in so easily like a close family friend people think ia your cousin. I hate the feeling, yes. But what I hate most about it is its familiarity. Why does it seem so comfortable as though it is the right where it should be. In my heart,in my mind, in the conscience, in my body, in my thoughts making me think mediocre like ‘oh, that’s fine, I can’t make it work anyways‘. I’m still working on erasing it completely but that would require a lot of constant work, Faith in the description given by Bishop David Oyedepo said ‘faith is a confirmation that we believe in what God can do’, remembering that faith without work is dead works, so make a move. That’s it just move and work on it.
For some minutes today while loosening my hair (myself) I spent a decent amount of time going through blogs by other Nigerians most of which are female and I was not only inspired but beyond proud. Like wow, I see y’all and I’m rooting for you. In this post, I’m going to be sharing a symptom or sign or characteristic of that sign and hoping that as I do so, my faith is in motion and working towards the end of this phase.
Why does it feel like you work harder when you have the least tools to create with. I remember when I had a tiny smartphone and it’s weird that I’m addressing it as a smartphone because it didn’t seem much of it because it was so bleh. But. I loved it. I cherished it so much. And with my love for photography and creating art, I took landscape pictures, attempted flatlays and even edited them with Snapseed and VSCO Cam. It made me so excited to work with what I had and I was so grateful.
Also Read: Ashes & Dust.
Not so long after, I got another phone – an upgrade, like an exquisite upgrade and I was excited as I always am with gadgets. I continued with the entire picture thing, and did a lot of artsy stuff using VSCOCam that it made me so proud. My sister would want to edit using vsco and just by taking a glance of the picture, I could look away and tell her what edits to use and how to set it. Also, this phone was larger and resolution was better so I used it to blog a bit, do lots of documents and all that.
Let’s not go into my gadget journey but the truth is I have seen how motivated I have been with little resources, improvising and making it work because I was so hungry to do it. Using 100 naira worth of data just to make a blog post, and I remember when I had to write that newspaper article and kept thinking of how I would write about a 1000 words that would be interesting to read, and not just a cluster of un (related) words. But I did it. Using my phone, in one night I typed it all at a go and edited afterwards. When I had to apply to go for the G200 Youth Forum in 2015. At 17, I wrote a motivation letter, submitted my resumè, did my application and was selected all using my smart phone. I remember the day I had to scan and print out one of the letters, I hurried to a cyber cafe which are so scarce to find these days, did so even after almost not meeting the deadline, I was still so motivated. Everything was ready for that conference to be honest, except that I had no money for visa’s and flight tickets. I like to do things on my one and by myself, to let my parents know that they don’t have to worry about me,to surprise them and not to put any burden on them so I never even discussed it. My plan was to come home one day and announce that I was travelling the next 2 weeks or going for a visa interview,that’s what I wanted. I even attempted applying to NGO’s but then if you’re not a member of some of these fellowships already, they can’t just sponsor you. So after all the calls and emails, reminders from them for me to book my room and all which I couldn’t do,I had to let it go. I didn’t quit,for the record. But it taught me a whole lot about how far your drive can take you.
I’ve done so much with little. I’ve managed, I’ve been bitten by mosquitoes in the process, exposed myself to danger, taken risks, I’ve said yes when I could have comfortably say no and yet now that I have the opportunity to say yes wholeheartedly because everything is in my favour, I walk away. That’s a part of me that I am currently not proud of (and let’s say this is our little secret).
In essence, I see most of you going for that dream with little because it burns in you and you leave for it and I am inspired by you all and rooting for you. I often pray that rubs off on me and that I am reminded of when I had so little and prayed for all that I have and now and have no reason to take it for granted.
Imperfect, but we can make this thing work still.
REMEMBER WHY YOU STARTED.
Christ made it all perfect, so we can do it.
Creating something iconic at @anowerribabe please follow.
1st & 2nd Photos:@inquisitiv_1